Virtually no SOI

[Pugwinkle]

I am just in the process of taking the real estate courses. I want to sell soulfully however, I have virtually 0 people in my SOI. I live in the country not far from a small town but have been unable to make any friends since moving here. I'm hoping someone can give me some ideas on how to build an SOI if I have no friends here.

[Jennifer Allan]

Hi Pug!

Here's a thread on the subject from awhile back - take a look - and let us know what you think!

http://www.sellwithsoul.com/forum/index.php/topic,886.0.html

Jennifer

[Pugwinkle]

Thanks Jennifer, I read through that thread but really didn't find very much advice for myself at least. I have lived in this area for almost 7 years now (gasp) and the only people I know are my vet, my husband and my mother lives in our attached home. That's it! I did try joining the Red Hat Society in hopes of making some friends but it's a small town and I felt as though I was back in high school. Very much a clique that I wasn't able to break into. I did like a couple of the ladies but they have never shown any interest in getting together with me other than the one night a month when we have a Red Hat function. I decided to stop going as I wasn't having any fun anymore.

I do have about a year before I will actually start working as an agent and would love to figure out how I can meet people when I live out in the country, about 10 minutes from the town.

Sadly, I have a fair sized SOI down in the city about 1.5 hours away and I would love to move back there but that's probably not going to happen for several years.

Any and all suggestions on how to build my SOI would be greatly appreciated.

Will I not get leads from doing floor time or offering to do open houses for other agents? Hopefully there are other ways as well.

Edited to add:
I think part of my problem is that I have no idea how to initiate a friendship with someone who is strictly an aquaintance. At one of our grocery stores here in town I enjoy one of the cashiers very much. We both have birds so often we will get into a bit of a conversation about our birds while she is checking me out. How do I take it further and become her friend?  I use to be very shy but as I get older I'm not shy anymore, I can talk to strangers without feeling uncomfortable, yet I still don't have any friends here.

[Jennifer Allan]

Your question reminds me of one I used to get a lot (not so much recently, not sure why) from stay-at-home moms who said they didn't have any time to socialize but wanted to know how to meet people to build an SOI.

Unfortunately, I never came up with a good answer for them. Building an network of people who know you, like you and trust you requires that you meet people and if your personality or lifestyle doesn't allow you to do that, then you probably aren't in a position to run an effective SOI business model. Because you really DO need to know (and more importantly be KNOWN by) a fair number of people in order to respectfully generate business from them.

That doesn't mean you can't sell real estate with soul! SWS is much more than simply an SOI business model - much much more. It's about figuring out what works for you and striving to be the best real estate agent you possibly can be for the clients who hire you... so that they DO refer you in the future and say great things behind your back 

But if you're going to sell real estate, you will have to find people who need you... and like you... and trust you. Maybe you'll find a way to that online, thru blogging or web lead generation. Or maybe you'll take a lot of floor time or impress one of the busy agents in your office to the point where she'll give you leads. Or maybe you'll become an open house expert.

There's nothing secret about meeting people - and believe me, I'm as homebody'ish as they come, but if my career depended on knowing a lot of people in order to succeed, I'd find a way to do that... OR find something else more within my comfort zone to generate business for myself.

A little tough love here? It almost sounds as if you've labeled yourself as someone who has trouble meeting people and therefore has given up on the idea that you can create a network of people who know you and like you. Maybe it's your living situation, but what if you decided that you weren't going to let where you live determine your fate and found a way to make it work for you?

I'm not trying to turn you into a back-slapping, networking social butterfly (ugh), but simply being out in your world with your antenna up and a smile on your face IS a viable prospecting strategy.

All that said, I realize you're still a ways from working in a real estate office, so perhaps some of this will be clearer once you have your license and understand more about how the career works.

But yeah, it's a people business... and "the more people who know you, like you and trust you, the more real estate you'll sell!"

[Pugwinkle]

Thank you so much for your response. I am trying to get into a mindset that I WILL be able to make this career work even if I am in a small town area where no one knows me. It may take me longer than some but I plan to be the most knowledgeable agent I possibly can be. Not a lot of agents around here have a decent website so hopefully I can do a bit better at that than most. I will try a lot harder this year to meet people and hopefully the few I do meet will think of me in the future.  I do believe that my best chance in the beginning will be to do a lot of floor time, offer assistance to other agents ie open houses, etc. 

Another thing I have thought about is to start up some kind of networking events where small business owners in the area get together each month (informally) say at a local pub or restaurant.  Just not sure how to get something like that started. Never mind the fact that I'm not a small business owner at the moment.

Do you have any ideas on other get togethers I could organize that might be helpful to my end goal of meeting people and making some type of relationship with them.

[Jennifer Allan]

Again, hoping others will chime in here, but I'm not sure organizing get-togethers in an area where you don't know anyone yet is the best use of your time, money and energy. I'd much rather see you simply getting out in the community, being pleasant to people and organically creating a social network. That's by far the best way to establish a community of people who know you and like you since everyone you meet has their own social networks they can share with you once they feel comfortable with you.

How small is this town, anyway? How much real estate business IS there for the taking, do you think?

[Pugwinkle]

Again, thanks for the response Jennifer. I think the  area (including about 5-6 small towns probably has about 10,000 people. I do think that there is enough real estate around to keep all the agents making a fair living. However, I won't really know this until I'm in the business I suppose.

As far as what to do to meet people, your thoughts are "I'd much rather see you simply getting out in the community, being pleasant to people and organically creating a social network."  I have no idea what you mean by this? I go into town probably twice a week (sometimes more) to do my grocery shopping and sometimes I go in to the pet store or the vets. I'm always very pleasant with the people working there. They all like me there, but that's the extent of the relationship. I pay for my stuff and say have a great day! I doubt very much that any of them would even think to send business my way.  Why would they, they really don't know me other than the few minutes I'm in their store or place of business. 

Can you elaborate on what you feel I need to do differently?

[Jennifer Allan]

Wow - that's pretty small! I really have no experience living in such a sparsely-populated area, although I grew up in a town of 10,000 (but it wasn't rural at all - there were lots of things going on and, well, I was in high school!)

Let's change things up a bit... what if you were single (are you?) and were looking for someone to date. How would you go about doing that?

Do you work now?

[Pugwinkle]

Hi Jennifer, if I were single I probably wouldn't be living here. I'd be back in the city with my old school friends and my son and his family. I really don't like where I am but leaving isn't an option. We put an addition onto my parents home back in 2004 (pretty much everything I had went into the addition).  I moved here to be close to my aging parents and help them as they got older. We had a very good relationship. Sadly, my dad (also one of my dearest friends) passed away in early 2006. My relationship with my mother has suffered greatly since my dad's death. I'm pretty much stuck here because I own the place with my mother and we would have to agree before we could sell. That's not likely to happen.

So I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation. I actually thought that the real estate business would be a great help in meeting people in the area.

Truly I wish I could get back to the city.  I think my chances at success would be much better if I were in the city. My husband has no desire to return to the city, so that's also an issue. *sigh*

[Pugwinkle]

Sorry I didn't answer your question about working. No I haven't worked since I moved to the area.

[Jennifer Allan]

Sigh, indeed...

Wow - what a pickle.

Hmmmmmmm.....

[TxFred]

Hi Pugwinkle,

I don't see where you are located so some of this may not apply - I moved to the outskirts of the Dallas-Ft Worth Metroplex four years ago and decided to get into this wonderful, frustrating industry as a new resident so have some experience with having no SOI.

If you are outgoing, heck even if you're not, VOLUNTEER. Small towns, small school districts and small churches in rural areas have small pools to draw from and love the help. The experiences you had working in the city will be very helpful. Attend Town Council meetings and speak up on topics that appeal to you. Look into economic or community development, planning and zoning, or parks and recreation groups, attend their meetings as well and consider joining them when there's an opening. Watch for special events and volunteer.

If you're involved in your church, maybe you could start a bread ministry. We ask first time visitors to register and then a member drops by during the next week with fresh bread as a welcome gift - no expectation of long conversation, just "Hi, I'm Pugwinkle, here's a small gift as thanks for visiting our church, hope to see you again." and off you go. That gives them a face to look for next week and you will make friends through it. (Yes Jennifer, it's a pop-by but not a real estate commercial)

Extend your conversation with the birdloving cashier. Ask if they'd like to get together over coffee to share your passion. If you hit it off and they know other bird owners in the area, there's your "group" to start. Nothing fancy, just bird lovers getting together once a month - unless there's an interest in bulk buying if you are having issues because of your location.

Hope these help.

[Pugwinkle]

Thanks TxFred, I'm located in Ontario Canada. Thanks very much for taking the time to respond to my thread. I like your ideas and have thought of doing some volunteer work but can't quite figure out what I'd want to do if I were to volunteer. For the past few years I had been stuck at home with some aging dogs that had some health issues so I couldn't be away from home for more than a couple of hours at a time so it's been rather difficult. The dogs that were ill have now passed on. I still have a couple of older ones but I can get away for a bit longer as they are a bit more self sufficient. I still have a long way to go with my courses in real estate before I actually start. By then these two will be gone as well. So there is some juggling to be done but I am going to consider your ideas and also try to be a bit more outgoing (not easy for an introvert like me) and hopefully by the time I start up my business I will at least have a small SOI to start with. 

My son was here on the weekend. He is a very successful financial planner down in the city. His is also a referral business and when he got out of University he pretty much started with a small SOI. I'm sure we can get together and figure out some things I can do to get my business going! He was quite confident that I'll be able to make a go of it even living up here in the boonies!

So thanks again for posting to my thread and offering your advice! It's very much appreciated.

[Jennifer Allan]

As a fellow introvert, I have a hard time with this too... I tried volunteering, but it just wasn't comfortable for me. Call me sensitive, but I never felt "welcome" at the places I showed up at and was miserable the whole time. So, I marked volunteering off my list of things to do to "meet people." Not saying that's the case for everyone (or anyone!), but it wasn't right for me.

If I'm going to put myself out there (which, frankly, is never high on my list of things I enjoy), I need to find social avenues that are comfortable and enjoyable for me, or I won't do it. Being a homebody, this can be a challenge since I'll almost always prefer to be AT HOME with my four-legged kiddo's than anywhere else. This is part of the reason I came up with the "Be Pleasant to 10 People a Day" approach - since I have to run errands and such, if I make it a goal to be as pleasant as possible while I'm running them; well, I can DO that since I'm quite comfortable and unintimidated at the grocery store, Walmart, Lowe's, the bank, etc... But put me in a quasi-social situation and ask me to network... UGH. Can't do it...

[Pugwinkle]

Yeah, I also don't think the volunteering is going to be my thing either. I do try to do exactly what you said about being as pleasant as possible when I'm in town. Today at the grocery store I saw one of the ladies that works at our local co-op. Rather than pretend I didn't see her (in case she really didn't want me to acknowledge her) I told her that the doggie door she special ordered for me is working great. There had been a bit of a mess up with the order and it took a very long time for the correct one to arrive. I thanked her for all her help in getting me the correct door. She seemed really pleased to speak with me and appreciated my thanking her for her work. That felt really good!  Then I went over to the parks and rec centre and met a lady there who offered to introduce me to the people that come each Tuesday for a fun game of carpet bowling. I've never even seen carpet bowling but hey, why not! I'll give it a try.

I did come up with an idea and would love to bounce the idea off of you. I would like to start up a coffee club or a lunch club. I think this will be a much easier way for me to invite people to lunch or coffee instead of just one on one. I will contact the Red Hat ladies I know and invite that cashier and there are quite a few others I would invite if I could get something going. Just wondering how I might get something like that started and do you think I should just do the coffee club or do you think the lunch club is also a good idea?  I put together two very large get togethers back in the city last year for our school reunions. I spent hours and hours on the phone calling people trying to locate old classmates from over 40 years ago! I was amazed at how many people I was able to locate and the reunions were a huge success. We now have big get togethers every couple of months but sadly they are back in the city where I won't be working. However I did enjoy planning the reunions and I think these coffee get togethers or lunch get togethers just might be the ticket for me to start meeting new people in my community. What do you think?