Liviray,
People are generally about immediate satisfaction in seconds to get their attention.
1. Don't be wordy at all up front. Get to the point to keep interest.
2. Make a Title to your points: Then, I would put a bullet list together of what you would do. Say, "These are 8 of 16 Marketing Techniques I will use to sell your home". Find some things you know weren't done such as Video Marketing, Extra MLS pictures (which a lot of agents don't use but can), Open House, yada.
Now when I say 8 out of 16: Meaning tell them at the end of that list that this quick reference list includes 8 of the 16 Marketing Techniques you will use to sell their home. Naturally if you have their attention on those 8 they are going to want to call you to hear the others.
2. Then you can go into a short paragraph of who you are and/or your company.
3. Put in the letter: I would like you to call me for a brief overview of your concerns and thoughts on how your current home sale did not turn into a home sale. Please call me between 5-8 tonight but you can call me earlier if you want. If not, you can also email me at...... and let me know if you have any questions for me.
What this sentence does is asks them a question to let them know you care, lets you are available at the given time but also that you are flexible, that you are busy and that's why you indicated between 5 and 8.
4. End it with a "Respectfully" and or "Sincerely". If you use "Your Neighborhood Friend" I think its kind of over used and not truly soulful since you don't know the person.
Best,
John Perkins
http://LookRealty.com (408) 469-7800
